


Steven, Steven.

by decipherbillcipher



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-12 23:59:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16006013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decipherbillcipher/pseuds/decipherbillcipher
Summary: Steven and garnet have a much needed discussion.





	1. eating sugar?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JustSagan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustSagan/gifts), [Boonaw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boonaw/gifts).



It was a normal day in the temple when Steven burst through the kitchen doors with the worst sweet tooth he'd ever had. Looking where pearl kept the spices he immediately went for the jar labeled sugar. Now normally garnet advised against such things but fuck that and fuck you to. Steven repeatedly shoveled handfuls of sugar into his mouth unaware of the approaching presence from behind.

"Steven, Steven?"

"Yes garnet?" 

"eating sugar?!"

"No Garnet!"

"telling lies?!"

"no Garnet!"

"open your mouth!"

"ha ha!" *eats sugar jar*

Garnet became so enraged she chased Steven around the entire kitchen. Then they stopped.

"Steven, Steven?"

"yes garnet?"

"eating sugar?"

"no garnet!"

"telling lies?!"

"no garnet!"

"open your mouth!"

"ha ha!"

 

They began to chase each other again. For some stupid reason the drawers started spitting silverware. Steven and garnet stopped and then Steven ate the silverware.

"Steven, Steven?" 

"yes garnet!"

"eating silverware!"

"no garnet!"

"telling lies!?"

"no garnet!"

"open your mouth!"

"ha ha!" Steven spat an undigested fork at garnet which stabbed her in the forehead. She pulled it out and they chased each other again.  
This time a pack of pigs ran out of a drawer and ran circles around the two as they chased each other continuously. They then stopped once again when Steven ate the pigs.

"Steven, Steven?"

"yes garnet?" 

"eating...pigs" for a brief second her eyes morphed into pig faces. 

"no garnet!"

"telling lies?!"

"no garnet!"

"open your mouth!"

Steven then spat out pigs eyes that were still alive then out of no where he opened his mouth as wide as he could and charged garnet!!!! Then right as he got close to her she picked him up and swallowed him whole!

Garnet then turned towards the camera, laughed, and burped up Stevens shirt.

"HA HA HA!"

THE END!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandpaper is not a good substitute for toilet paper.

Garnet:"Steven, Steven?"

Steven:"Yes Garnet?"

Garnet:"eating sugar?

Steven:"no garnet!"

Garnet:"BULLSHIT!" *WHIP* I SAW YOUR HAND IN THE SUGAR JAR! OOOH AH SWEAR TO GOT!" *WHIP*

Pearl:"JESUS CHRIST GARNET STOP!"

*WHIP*

*WHIP*

Pearl:*screams*

*WHIP*

Pearl:"STOOOOP! OH MY GOD!"

*WHIP*

This has been a Cartoon Network production!

**Author's Note:**

> Ha ha ha.
> 
>  
> 
> Why don't my parents visit anymore?


End file.
